Hallelujah
by Jena Rink
Summary: I love you just the way you are, you know that? Remembering anything won't make me love you more or less, Cohen..." SS AU
1. Baby I've been here before

Halelujah -part one.  
  
This is based on the Characters of the OC, which belong to Josh Schwartz.  
And I give credit to Jeff Buckley for his lovely song.  
I was reading a fic on another top entirely, and it sparked this, which I wrote in one night, so sorry about the spelling erros. And I still have more, but I wont post it unless you review! love you all!  
  
heard there was a secret chord  
that david played and it pleased the lord  
but you don't really care for music, do you  
well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth  
the minor fall and the major lift  
the baffled king composing hallelujah  
  
hallelujah...  
  
well your faith was strong but you needed proof  
you saw her bathing on the roof  
her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you  
she tied you to her kitchen chair  
she broke your throne and she cut your hair  
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah  
  
hallelujah...  
  
baby i've been here before  
i've seen this room and i've walked this floor  
i used to live alone before i knew you  
i've seen your flag on the marble arch  
but love is not a victory march  
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah  
  
hallelujah...  
  
well there was a time when you let me know  
what's really going on below  
but now you never show that to me do you  
but remember when i moved in you  
and the holy dove was moving too  
and every breath we drew was hallelujah  
  
well, maybe there's a god above  
but all i've ever learned from love  
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you  
it's not a cry that you hear at night  
it's not somebody who's seen the light  
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah  
  
hallelujah... I used to look out at the ocean from my apartment, at the clouds almost painted across the skyline, at some point blending into the ocean against the horizon, the oranges, purples and blues all melding together to create the most beautiful picture I have seen in my entire life, and I wonder why we're here. Humans existence, as simple as it may seem, has only used up resources, caused wars, and though there is love, caused eventual heartache. It's a mystery to me why something so grand and gorgeous, infinite in possibilities, needed us to be here to screw things up. How can the world be so beautiful when everything turns to dust?

Someone once told me that life is like a game of poker. You get dealt the good hands sometimes, but the house always wins in the end. There are things I'll always wish I remembered in life, good friends, loves, families, whether despised, admired, kept or lost. When I left I never expected to be here again. It's been six years, and after numerous attempts at regaining my memory, something told me this was my home. And I know I've been here. I've seen these streets, I've walked the beach. And I've lived here. I just don't remember any of it. I woke up seven years ago in a hospital in San Fransisco, with no recollection of my life. Nothing but a name. Seth.

"Are you looking for something?" my head turned up, and I stared at the girl with her hands on her hips, clearly annoyed with having to wait on me.

"Yeah, I....I've never been here before...and I..."well, that was a lie Seth, but she doesn't have to know that,"I was wondering if there was a nice hotel I could stay at....something near the beach maybe?"

"Yeah...sure....um...let's see...down by the pier...and next to the Balboa Lighthouse..that's a resteraunt..theres a hotel...its not the best..."

"Awesome, thanks..."I said, and glanced out the window at the sun setting.

"It never gets cold here does it?" I questioned, and the girl nodded, her curly brown and red hair bouncing.

"Yeah, it really doesn't....it gets to about seventy in the winter...but that's about the lowest it has ever been here...."she commented,"I'm Caitlin by the way.....Caitlin Cooper..."

"Well, Caitlin Cooper, thank you for the help, and maybe I'll see you around...."

"Maybe..."she said, raising her eyebrow, and walked back towards the counter, wiping it.

And I set off again. I had the distinct feeling that I knew this place, but I had no idea how. So I headed for the hotel she had mentioned, The Mermaid Inn, which turned out to not be the best of places, but comfortable none the less, and checked in, going into my room and closing the door, falling back on my bed with a sigh. I didn't even know where to start taking apart this puzzle that was my life. I'd just graduated from Stanford, with honors, and my next stop was finding my past, whether I liked it or not. I could always check the records at the library or hire a private investigator. I'd started my first comic book company in college, and now that I was out of it I'd sold the company and had enough money to do anything I wanted comfortably.  
But I could think about that tomorrow. Today had been long enough as it was.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((&&&&&&&&)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

"Tarryn Marissa Cohen! Get your butt down here right now!" Summer said forcefully, and bit back a grin when her seven year old daughter slid into the kitchen in socks and pjs, and sat down at the counter, reading a comic book. She was just like her father. She pushed that thought through her head quickly, and glanced at Kirsten.

"Morning...sorry about my crazy child..."she apologized, and Kirsten smiled tiredly

"That's why we took you in, isn't it?"she questioned, and gave Summer a hug.

"I miss him too, you know..."Kirsten added softly, and Summer nodded leaning against the wall. It was another year without Cohen...and the seventh year that had come and passed since he had run away and been presumed dead by search teams. She sighed softly, and watched her daughter, who already had Seth's kooky sense of fashion and was wearing differnt colored socks and converse, eating cereal and listening to music, tapping her foot to the beat of it.

"When's Ryan picking her up?"

"Soon, like ten minutes..."she walked over and pulled Sam's earphones off of her, Tarryn frowning, and picked her up.

"Uncle Ryan's going to be here soon,okay Tarryn?" she nodded, and grinned at her mom, before getting back to her cereal,which only had the blue marshmellows left.

"Seth always used to save the marshmellows when he was little..."Sandy said, startling Kirsten and Summer,"Good morning you too.."he kissed them both on the cheek, and glanced at Ryan, who had appeared in the doorway.

"Ryan, good to see you..."Ryan smiled, and gave Sandy a one armed hug, picking up Tarryn when she ran towards him and spinning her around.

"Did you let her eat sugar cereal again?" Ryan asked, and Summer grinned.

"You know I did....her Counselor hates it when she's hyper..."Summer said, raising an eyebrow, and Kirsten whacked her on the arm.

"Summer!"she said, and Summer grinned.

"Bye momma..."Tarryn said, waving,"Love you!"she added brightly, and Summer felt a pang of guilt.

"I love you too baby..."she said, waving as she left.

"I will see you ladies after work today...."Sandy said,and gave Kirsten a quick peck on the lips.

"Love you..."

"I love you too..."Kirsten said quietly, watching him leave.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?"Kirsten asked, and Summer shrugged,"Shopping?"she questioned, and Kirsten nodded.

"I will call Marissa..."Summer added, and took off towards the pool house, grabbing her purse, cellphone, and wallet, checking her appearance in the mirror.

So much had changed since she had moved here. She had to tell someone after she found out she was pregnant, and especially with Seth gone she felt as if she was getting another chance to fix the mistakes she had made in losing him. Unfortunetly, she had told her father, and two hours after their argument, which ended with her packing and putting everything she owned in her car, she had shown up at the Cohen's house, tears in her eyes, at the exact moment Kirsten and Sandy had learned of Seth's apparent death. She was sobbing already, but when Sandy tried to tell her while Kirsten sobbed that Seth would never come back again, she had lost it and run upstairs, locking herself in his room and sobbing into his bed for what seemed like days but was only hours. And from them on she had lived with the Cohens. They had been her parents through the labor and Kirsten had stayed at home so Summer could start her own clothing line with Marissa, which happened to be for maternity wear and babies, and it had been a smash. Summer's father, who had recently passed away, hadn't reconceiled with her until the very last days of his life.The only sunshine in her life had been Tarryn, the Cohen's, and Ryan and Marissa, who had gotten married out of college and were now living next door in Marissa's old house with their twin sons, Seth and Micheal.  
  
She shook the thoughts from her head and turned towards the doorway to see Marissa standing in it.  
  
"Coop I was just going to call you...."Summer started, and Marissa smiled.  
  
"Shopping? Because South Coast is having a sale, and..."  
  
"Shopping,"Kirsten confirmed, standing in the doorway with her keys,"Are you two ready?"  
  
"Ready as I'll ever be..."Marissa said, Summer nodding and following. This was unbearable almost. Especially during the summer months when it had happened.  
  
"Rissa did you finish the layouts for the new line yet?"  
  
"The Evening wear, yeah..there's this gorgeous one with crystals all over it, it's dark red and..."she stared across the mall, her eyes wide.  
  
"What's wrong?"Summer questioned, and Marissa pointed a shaky finger. There was a man across the lobby of the mall, sitting by the fountain and furiously writing into a notepad, and it looked just like Seth.  
  
"Kirsten..."Summer said softly, glancing at the man, who had Seth's curly hair, and dimples, and his skinny body save for a few more muscles and more of a tan.  
  
She seperated herself from the group, and walked towards him, but a line of shoppers obstructed her view, and when she glanced up again he was gone.  
  
"Was it just me?"Summer asked softly, all of them sitting at the food court.  
  
"No we saw him too...."Kirsten said quietly, sipping on the drink she had in front of her.  
  
"It's impossible...there was no sign of him they found nothing..."Summer said quietly,"And even if they found him, he would have....he couldn't have just run..."tears were welling in her eyes, and she started crying, leaning against Marissa, who put an arm around her shoulders.  
  
"It's okay Sum..."  
  
"No it's not he's dead...and Tarryn doesn't have a father and I lost the love of my life right after I found him..."she said quietly, and got up.  
  
"I'm gonna go take a cab home, okay?"she lied, and they nodded. She walked to the pier instead, and bought a Balboa bar, leaning against the railing, watching the wind blow through her hair.  
  
"Penny for your thoughts?" Ryan questioned, and Summer turned towards him, confused.  
  
"Chino?"she questioned, and he grinned.  
  
"Hey, Summer..."he said, leaning against the railing and looking out at the ocean.  
  
"How'd you figure out I'd be here..."  
  
"Because you always come here when..."  
  
"Okay dumb question then....Chino why did he have to die?"  
  
"I don't know..."Ryan said,"It was unfair, and stupid...to you and to Tarryn and to me, and to rissa and to Sandy and Kirsten..."  
  
"I just wish I could see him again, let him know that I loved him....you know? Because I never got to tell him that, and that's what kills me...he'll never know..."  
  
"I'm sure he does know...I'm sure that somewhere he's thinking of you too, Summer...He loved you so much...he always used to talk about you, before you even knew who he was he loved you....and he knew you loved him too..."Ryan said, and hugged her, Summer crying into his shoulder.  
  
"Thanks, Ryan..."Summer said quietly,"We should get back the kids are probably home by now..."  
  
"You're on..."he put an arm around her shoulders, and guided her towards the Range Rover he had inherited from the Cohens many years earlier.  
  
And all that Seth could think by looking at the woman crying on the pier was that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his entire life. And all he wanted to do was to make her stop crying. He walked down the street to an office, and opened the door, walking inside.  
  
"Hello sir how can I help you...."  
  
"I need to find my family...."Seth said softly, leaning against the wall and staring at the man at the desk.  
  
"How much are you willing to pay?"  
  
"Anything..."Seth responded quietly.  
  
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K, so anyways...read, review just press the little button..you can see it right now! please???? :)  



	2. Seen this room and walked this floor

  
Hallelujah  
Part Two-The man in the mask  
by jena rink  
I dont own anything but the plotline. yay!  
  
A few days later things had gotten back to normal, and Summer was planning the newest event with Kirsten and the Newpsies.  
  
"Okay, so what are we benefiting this time?" Julie Nichol asked impatiently, and Kirsten snorted.  
  
"It's a Masquerade Ball to benefit the Make-A-Wish Foundation...."Summer said dryly, and glanced at Marissa, who was trying not to laugh into her ice tea.  
  
"And it will be held at the Lighthouse...."Kirsten added.  
  
"Black tie...gowns required?"someone else asked, and Marissa nodded.  
  
"As per usual....and if anyone needs a gown and is expecting...Marissa and I have some new things we'd like to try out..."Summer added, sharing a smile with Marissa and turning back to her salad, ignoring the Newpsies looks at her. They'd looked at her that way since she had had Tarryn.  
  
"Anyways..."Marissa said loudly,"We expect to see all of you there...Summer, Kirsten and I arranged it, and it took a lot of work..."she added.  
  
"Good, since that's settled, you ready?" Kirsten asked, and Summer nodded.  
  
"I'll see you later Coop..."she said, and squeezed her friend's shoulder, before walking out of the resteraunt and getting in the car with Kirsten.  
  
"So that was fun...."Kirsten said sarcastically, and Summer laughed.  
  
"Don't I know it...do you want to go dress shopping?"Summer said, and Kirsten nodded.  
  
"Where?"  
  
"In our new designs..." Summer said, grinning, and Kirsten's face lit up.  
  
"You made regular clothes..."  
  
"Yeah....just for us though, I mean...we do just normally do Maternity and baby clothing...but Marissa nd I really felt like a change, you know?"  
  
"And you made me one?"  
  
"Yeah...it's Navy...mine's Purple, and Marissa's is green..."she said pulling out the gown.  
  
"Those are beautiful..."  
  
"We made masks too..."she grinned, and showed her each.  
  
"Thank you so much Summer..."Kirsten gushed, holding up the dress and mask.  
  
"It's no problem....I'd better go get Tarryn and take her to the park, do you want to come?"  
  
"Of course..."Kirsten said soflty, laying the dress down on Summer's bed, and following her to what used to be the guest room and glancing at Tarryn, who was coloring.  
  
"Tarryn, sweetie, do you want to go to the park?"she asked, and she grinned, jumping out of her chair.  
  
"yay!"she squealed, and Summer picked her up, and carried her down the stairs, Tarryn giggling.  
  
"So you have news, then?" Seth said quietly. He was sitting on a bench, the investigator next to him.  
  
"Yeah, I do..."Peter, the investigator replied cautiously,"Your name is Seth Cohen, you were born December 15, 1986, in Berkley, California. Your parents names are Sandy and Kirsten Cohen, and that's your daughter Tarryn, and her mother, Summer Roberts.  
  
"What?"he spluttered, staring across the parking lot at the people getting out of the BMW Convertible, a older woman with blonde hair, a younger one with brown hair, and a little girl with curly brown hair, pigtails, and dimples.  
  
"Oh my god..."he whispered.  
  
"I don't know if you will choose to inform them that you're back from the dead..."  
  
"What do you mean I wasn't missing?  
  
"You ran away when you were sixteen..."Peter said quickly, trying to make this as short as possible,"Your boat crashed, and while you were being treated as a John Doe in Mexico, they were looking for you here...."  
  
"How could I leave that?"he questioned quietly, and Peter glanced at him. Seth was on the verge of tears.  
  
"There's a Masquerade Ball at the Lighthouse tomorrow night, and I'm giving you my ticket...you should talk to Summer..."he said, and Seth nodded.  
  
"Okay...thank you..."he said vaugely, and got up, leaving the park, his hands in his pockets, his face white. He had a daughter...  
  
The next night was the ball, and while the Tarryn and the boys were at Marissa's with a sitter, Summer was sitting at the bar, drinking herself senseless. As she did usually at these events.  
  
"Do you think you've had your body weight yet?" Seth questioned cautiously, adjusting his mask, and she turned towards him, looking at him critically.  
  
"WHo says that's any of your business..."  
  
"I was just wondering...."Seth shot back, grabbing a shot from the bartender and downing it, relishing the burning in his throaght.  
  
"And it looks like you're on the way to being drunk yourself, by the way Mr."she said, and he glanced at her. She was gorgeous, even through the mask.  
  
"Young...Seth Young.."he said, and took her hand, kissing it.  
  
"you are so cheesy Cohen..."  
"Am I sweeping you off your feet?"  
"The sad thing is...you kind of are...."  
  
"Summer Roberts..."she responded lightly, and glanced at the dance floor.  
  
"You want to go dance?"she asked softly, and he nodded, grabbing her hands and sending a shock through her.  
  
"Are you okay?"he questioned softly, and she nodded weakly.  
  
"You just remind me of an old boyfriend...that's all..."she said quietly,"But he's dead...he died seven years ago...I guess there's no use holding onto it any more..."  
  
"I'm sorry..."he said quietly, completely shocked that she was opening up to him like this.  
  
"It's okay..."she said softly,"Laying her head on his shoulder,"I think maybe it's a good thing that you remind me of him...."she added.  
  
"Do you want to dance, or just to talk?"he asked quietly, and she shrugged.  
  
"Talking is fine for now, you know?"she said, and he grabbed her hand, pulling her outside onto the patio, and sitting with her.  
  
"So what do you do?" Summer asked, and he sighed.  
  
"I used to own a company, a comic book one...but I sold it a few years ago..."she nodded.  
  
"What do you do?"he asked, and grabbed two glasses of champange when the waiter came outside, handing her one.  
  
"Thanks..."she said soflty, and took a small sip,"Marissa and I make Maternity wear and babies clothes...and we made our dresses for tonight too...It's enough so that I can provide for Tarryn and still have time to see her..."  
  
"Tarryn?" he questioned, and she glanced at him,  
  
"When I tell you I have a daughter your going to run away aren't you?"she said softly, and he shook his head.  
  
"That couldn't be further from the truth I love children..."  
  
"You haven't met Tarryn..."she said, grinning through her mask, but shaking a little.  
  
"Are you cold?"he asked quietly, and took off his jacket, putting it over her shoulders.  
  
"Thanks..."she said, and smiled at him, Seth returning the favor.  
  
"I have to admit I was suprised you were alone...when I saw you, you mean...you're gorgeous..."he said quietly, and she glanced at him.  
  
"You aren't so bad yourself..."she remarked, and glanced in at the party.  
  
"Think we should go dance?"Seth questioned, and she grabbed his hand.  
  
"I'm having more fun out here...but the reveal is soon..."Seth paled.  
  
"Are you okay?"she questioned,"Because, I find, when I'm nervous, the best thing is to drink more...my friend Marissa taught me that one.."she said, and he grinned.  
  
"I'm fine, Summer...I promise..."he said, and she smiled at him.  
  
"We really should go dance though...I helped organize this..and I want you to meet Kirsten and Sandy...they're like my parents.."she pulled him inside, and he braced himself.  
  
"Kirsten, Sandy, this is Seth Young..."she said, and Seth found himself face to face with the parents he had no recollection of,"Seth, these are Kirsten and Sandy Cohen...sort of like my parents really..."she added.  
  
"It's nice to meet you Seth.."Kirsten said, and shook Seth's hand, which was clammy.  
  
"You too..."he got out, smiling at his father, and grabbed another flute of champange from the nearest tray, Summer giggling.  
  
"What?"he questioned,"I'm just going by your suggestions, Roberts..."she grinned.  
  
"I could certainly tell that, Young..."Summer shot back, and Sandy and Kirsten shared a smile.  
  
"We're going to go dance, if that's okay..."Seth said,"It' was good to meet you..."he added, Summer pulling him towards the dance floor.  
  
"Have fun..."Sandy said, and turned to Kirsten,"And what about you, Kirs? You feel like dancin?"he pulled her close, and she laughed.  
  
"I'm so glad they're having a good time..."Summer said,"Things were always hard before..."  
  
"Yeah..."he said, and she leant her head on his shoulder.  
  
"Seth?"she questioned, and he glanced at the clock. Two minutes.  
  
"Summer I don't feel so well..."he lied, and she grabbed his hand.  
  
"Do you need help?"she questioned, and he shook his head.  
  
"I think we might need to go outside again, if that's okay?"he asked, and she nodded.  
  
"Sure it's fine..."she said quietly, and laced her hand in his. He hated this.  
  
"Summer there's something I need to tell you..."  
  
"Can it wait until after I..."  
  
"No...It can't it's really..." she leant in and kissed him. He lost all sense of thought.  
  
"Okay everyone!"Marissa's voice came over the loudspeaker, and Seth blanched,"Go ahead and remove your masks!"she said, grinning, and Seth stared at Summer, pulling off her mask.  
  
"God you're beautiful...Summer really before you take it off...I really need..."  
  
"No, I'm taking it off and there's nothing you can do to stop..."  
  
"Summer please just let me tell..."she took off his mask, and he stared up at her, her eyes instantly filling with tears.  
  
"Cohen?"she whispered quietly, and he glanced at the water.  
  
"I have to go..."he responded, and took off, Summer chasing after him.  
  
"SETH!" she yelled, chasing him down the pier, and up to his room.  
  
"Let me in! Assface! You know as well as I that I can have rage blackouts!!"she screamed, tears streaming down her face, and he leant against the floor, "AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"  
  
"Thats just it I don't know! Summer I wish I did damnit but I don't remember anything!"he yelled back, waiting for her to yell some more. Only she didn't.  
  
"Summer?"he questioned lightly, and heard her sobbing. He opened the door and she glanced up at him from the railing.  
  
"Seth..."she whispered softly, and he knealt down beside her, letting her sob into his shoulder.  
  
"I'm so sorry..."he said,"I wish I could remember you....you have no idea....you're...you're amazing and in my mind I've only known you for one night..."  
  
"Allow me to refresh your memory..."Summer whispered, and he frowned.  
  
"What?"he questioned, and she sighed.  
  
"Shutup and kiss me Cohen..."she said, annoyed, and kissed him, pushing him in his room, closing the door, and trying to get out of her dress, Seth helping her with no avail.  
  
"God Summer your dress is like childproof..."he said, annoyed, and she giggled, laughing and sobbing at the same time, and ripped it, stepping out of it.  
  
"I'll just make myself another one..."she said, and pulled off her bra.  
  
"Whatever you say Summer...yes..."he said, and she choaked back a sob, pulling off his shirt and working on his pants, her mouth fused to his.  
  
awww....read and review, or I wont continue! Feedback is really important!!!  
  



	3. lived alone before I knew ya

Halelujah-part three   
The things that I forget   
by jena rink.   
I dont own anything! w00t.   
and thanks for the reviews everyone I appreciate them so much! 

When she awoke in the morning it was to the sound of her cellphone, beeping from inside of her clutch. She glanced at Seth, who was sleeping soundly, and got up, pulling on his boxers and shirt and stepping onto the balcony.

"Summer, where are you?" Kirsten said, and she sighed.

"Long Story..."she responded quietly, glancing in the room to see if he had woken up. She wanted to tell her so badly.

"If you had a late night, that's fine...take as much time as you need.."Kirsten said, grinning, and Summer rolled her eyes.

"Thanks Kirsten..."she said, and squealed when Seth's arms looped around her waist.

"Good morning beautiful..."Seth whispered in her ear.

"I'll be home for dinner, I promise......"she pressed end on her phone and turned to Seth, kissing him softly.

"Morning..."she whispered, glancing at him. This was unreal. Here he was, after seven years, and they were right back where they were.

"Do you want some breakfast?"he asked softly, and she nodded emphatically.

"Pancakes..."she said, and he smiled.

"I'll go and get it..."he promised, and she pulled away, grabbing his hand in hers. It kind of freaked her out, him leaving. What if he didn't come back.

"I...can I go with you?"she questioned, and he glanced at her, and the tears building in her eyes.

"Summer....shhh....."he said softly, and rubbed her back.

"Cohen I'm never letting you out of my sight again, do you understand me?"she questioned quietly, her voice shaking, and he nodded.

"I'm not going to leave you, I promise..."he started, and she started sobbing full on again.

She was crying so hard that she could hardly hear him, and when her tears subsided he was still hugging her, stroking her hair and squeezing her hand.

"It's okay, Summer...."he paused,"I'm here..."

"it's so unbelieveable...."she murmered, and glanced up at him,"I found out I was pregnant the day they found your boat....I'd never been so frightened in my life..."

"I am so sorry I wasn't there..."he whispered,"They said I hit my head on a rock..."he guided her hand to his scar under his hear, and her hand tensed.

"Well what matters is your here now, right?"she said, unassured, and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, leaning her head on her right shoulder and glancing at her.

"Right..."he said, and kissed the top of her head, pulling her back onto the bed and resting her head on his chest.

"Cartoons?"

"You know me so well..."Seth commented, and she sighed.

"yeah, I sorta do..."she said, kissing his chin as the tv turned onto Scooby Doo.

"Oh, you have to love the Scooby Doo, Summer..."

"I always have..."she assured him, and he smiled, her heart melting.

"Damn straight you have, Roberts..."he said, and she flipped on top of him.

"You're about to get lucky, Cohen..."she said, mimicking the first words she said to him.

"Again, Summer sometimes a boy can get tired..."

"Oh shut up..."she kissed him, and turned off the tv.

"Okay..."he said meekly, and kissed her again, Summer grinning sheepishly.

She got home in time for dinner, in Seth's boxers and button up shirt, and was trying to sneak into the pool house when Kirsten saw her.

"Something happen to your dress?"she questioned, raising an eyebrow, and Summer rolled her eyes.

"I just left it there..that's all..."she explained,"This was much more comfortable.

"There, huh?"Kirsten said, and Summer shot her a look.

"Nice boxers and high heels...by the way.."Sandy said from the doorway, and she turned around, her hands on her hips.

"Okay, okay...we'll leave you till dinner..."Kirsten conenceded, and Summer grinned, leaning against the wall in the pool house, smelling Seth's shirt.

Her cellphone rang, and she picked it up, a goofy grin on her face.

"Good afternoon I just left you ten minutes ago..."she reminded Seth, and he sighed, tapping his foot on the floor next to his bed.

"But I miss you..."Seth whined, and she giggled.

"I miss you too...so much..."she said honestly,"I wish I could just skip dinner..."she added.

"About that....don't let them know, okay?"he said, and she nodded.

"Okay, I promise..."she said slowly, and glanced at Kirsten, who was staring at her from the doorway.

"Awesome Roberts....tomorrow, I'll meet you here, okay?"she laughed.

"Round noonish?"Summer questioned, a finger in her mouth, and he grinned.

"Sounds minty..."Seth responded cheekily, and she giggled.

"Okay, see you..."she said,"I'm hanging up now..."she added, going to her drawer and pulling out her regular clothes.

"No, I'm hanging up..."he said, and they both started laughing.

"Okay, then see you in the morning..."he added a second later, and she nodded.

"Bye..."she whispered, a grin on her face, nad hung up the phone, changing for dinner. It was going to be a hell of a job keeping her secret romance a secret.

"So?"Kirsten asked, and Summer glanced up at her, her cheeks flushed.

"He's...perfect..."she muttered, and pulled her sweater on.

"Not going to take a shower?"Kirsten questioned, and Summer's face blushed.

"I took one there..."she responded, raising an eyebrow, and Kirsten started laughing.

"I haven't seen you this happy in a long time..."

"Yeah, I know..."she responded lightly, staring at the photograph of her and Cohen at the wedding. Her arms were wrapped around his waist, but he looked unhappy.

"I'm sure he's fine with it, it's been seven years..."Kirsten said softly, staring at the picture, and hugging Summer when she started to cry.

"Wanna come in for dinner?"she questioned, and Summer wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Sure..."she said softly, and followed her, feeling more guilty than ever.

4 months later:

Summer stared at the pregnancy test in her hand, shaking slightly. This wasn't supposed to happen. And how was she going to explain it to Kirsten. She wiped her mouth off, and walked back towards the bed when her phone rang with the Batman Theme.

"Cohen..it's seven am..." she muttered.

"I know, I just wanted to call and say hi..."Seth said,"Because I was thinking that maybe you could steal away for a couple of hours this morning...since we haven't seen eachother in a couple of weeks..."

"It's Sunday, baby...are you sure?"she questioned. She was sick, and she didn't want him to see her like this. Not to mention she was pregnant with his kid.

"Come on, I'm Jewish, it's not like I go to church..."he said, raising an eyebrow, and glancing at the Cohen house from the edge of the driveway.

"But I do, and skipping church to do THAT would be an unearthly sin..."Summer said, and Seth laughed on the other side of the phone, glancing out the window again.

"I can't drive it'll wake your parents up..."she said, leaning against the pillows.

"I'll pick you to the end of the driveway..."she glanced out the window and huffed.

"You knew I'd say yes you loser!"she said, and he smiled and waved from the car, Summer going around the side of the house and jumping down to Marissa and Ryan's driveway. She just didn't realise Ryan was getting the paper. He hid in the bushes, and watched her as she walked to the head of the driveway.

"Good morning gorgeous..."she kissed Seth, and Ryan bent his head to get a better look.

"You are so cheesy..."she muttered against his lips, and he raised his eyebrows.

"I missed you...I have to get a house here..."he responded, and kissed her forehead.

"So what are you up to, breakfast? Because I can't...until I've had breakfast..."he added a second later, and she glanced up impishly, thinking.

"What are you thinking?"he questioned, and she grinned, grabbing the strings on his sweatshirt.

"How's about we go back to the hotel, and you just lie there like a buffet, and I serve myself?"Summer suggested, and Seth dropped his cup of coffee in shock.

"Summer!"he said, in mock shock, and she whacked him on the arm,"Ouch..."he added.

"Come on...I haven't seen you in three weeks and you are crazy to think I'm not going to have you now..."she said, and kissed him again.

"The parents might see..."he said, looking at what used to be his house.

"The parents are sleeping..."Summer said, her hand reaching for the buttons on his shirt. He slapped her hand away, and in typical Seth fashion, started babbling.

"Plus theres always the added bonus that they can think that I'm still..."Summer cut him off.

"That is not funny..."she said quietly, and he kissed her cheek.

"I know, I'm sorry.."

"It's okay..."she promised and kissed him softly.

"No really...Summer...how's Tarryn...."he said quietly, and she leant against him.

"Good....she asks about you..."Ryan furrowed his brow.

"Well I don't know everything yet do I? Or enough to convince them that I do..."Seth said,"This is so hard..."he added quietly, and she hugged him, pulling away to glance up at him.

"I know baby...it's okay...have you had anymore dreams?"she asked, glancing into his eyes.

"No, besides about you..."he pinched her cheek jokingly, and she rolled her eyes.

"Seriously thought, what's the deal?"she questioned.

"Summer I went to the doctor in New York, and they gave he a CAT scan...and there may be a chance that they can restore...with surgery..."

"No..."she said quietly, and leant against his car, her arms wrapped around herself.

"Summer..."he said, grabbing her hands, and she pushed away from him.

"No...we've been through this before, and you could die, and I am not...."

"You're not going to lose me again...I know..."he said, and kissed the top of her head,"And I'm not going to lose you, because I love you..."

"Again?" Ryan whispered, confused.

"I love you too..."she whispered quietly,"Despite the fact that you're a little bitch that left me on a sailboat...."she said quieter, Ryan unable to undertsand her words.

"I knew you were a rage blackout waiting to happen...."he commented, and she whacked him on the arm.

"Shut up, assface..."she countered, and he laughed.

"Summer, is that the best you can do..."he questioned, and she kissed him.

"Nope, that is..."she responded cheekily, and he grinned.

"Let's go get lucky..."Seth said, and she hit him on the butt.

"Summer Roberts, I didn't know you had that in you..."he joked, and she rolled her eyes.

"OOh...snap..."she replied sarcastically, climbing into his convertible. Ryan was baffled.

"Okay, what the hell was that?" he questioned. He'd never seen the mans face, and to think of it he'd never seen Summer so happy since Seth had died. There was something about that man though. Something farmilliar. So he followed them.

"So besides the doctor, how was New York?"she questioned, and he glanced at her.

"Snowly..."he responded, and kissed her cheek. They were sitting on the bed, watching cartoons again, and Seth was running his fingers up and down her arms slowly, his chin resting on her shoulder.

"Seth..."she said, and turned to face him,"How expirimental is this surgery?"she questioned quietly, and he glanced at the television.

"You'll say no but it doesn't mean I won't do it, Summer...I need to know everything...I don't remember so much...."

"I know but I can't lose you, Seth....please don't risk it...."

"We've tried everything else...."he said quietly,"There's a doctor in San Fransisco that does it, I'd be awake, and you'd be right next to me...."

"Are you sure you want to do this?"Summer said quietly, and he nodded.

"I want to remember you more than just these last four months..."he said,'I want to remember my family, and why I left, and..."

"I'll still love you no matter what you do, you know that..."

"This isn't about you, Summer..."

"That's what you said before you left last time..."she said quietly, nad got up, pulling her workout clothes on,"I think I'd better go..."

"Summer..."he said quietly, and touched her shoulder.

"Please don't do this....please..."Summer said quietly, and he glanced out the window.

"I have to know, Summer..."

"Then I have to go..."she responded, and opened the door.

"How are you getting back?"he asked,"At least talk to me about this..."

"If you end up remembering you know where to find me..."Summer said, and closed the door, tears building in her eyes.

"Sum come back we aren't through talking about this!"he went to the edge of the balcony, and she ignored him, walkign aroudn the corner, and straight into Ryan.

"You wanna tell me what the hell is going on, Summer?"he asked, and she sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"Summer...."Seth said, out of breath, and noticed Ryan.

"Who are you?"he questioned, and Summer put a hand up.

"Cohen I'm on the verge of a rage blackout...I'll call you later..."she said, annoyed, and Ryan's eyes widened.

"Seth?"he said, in shock, and Seth shook his head.

"Summer this is important,okay?"Seth started, and she looked down, and over at Ryan, who was backing towards the car, in complete shock that his brother was alive.

"Seth..." she said, indicating Ryan.

"Shit does he know me?" Seth asked Summer, and Summer put her hands over her eyes.

"Damnit, damn damn..."she said, and Seth glanced at Ryan, who was staring at him strangely.

"I'm not something you oggle in the zoo, you know..."he told Ryan, and Summer laughed quietly.

"Cohen, I'll...I'll see you around, okay?I can't talk right now...."she said, pulling Ryan towards his car, getting inside.

"What the hell was that?"Ryan questioned, and Summer sighed.

"Cohen..it was Cohen..."she mumbled, banging her head against the dashboard.

"I really don't think that's healthy,sweetie...."Seth said from outside of the window, and Summer jerked upwards.

"I thought I told you to go inside, assface...."she said, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Is that really the best you can do there Roberts?"

"Go inside before I have a blackout again.."she warned, and Seth laughed.

"But you're so cute when you're angry..."

"Man are you sure about that?" Ryan asked, and Summer shot him a look.

"Summer just come upstairs and talk with me, please..."he begged, and she shook her head.

"Shit..."she muttered,"No, Seth, I'm not going to....I gotta get back..."

"Bring him with us....I'm sure Kirsten and Sandy wouldn't be unhappy to see their DEAD son, Summer.." Ryan said angrily, and Seth blanched.

"No...I cant' do that..."Seth said,"Not yet...Summer it's next month...December 15th......."

"You already scheduled it? Oh my god, Seth, what if you die..."

"You'll be right there..."he promised, and she glanced at Ryan.

"What if I can't watch them do it to you?"

"Summer..."

"Ryan doesn't need to hear this, okay? And neither do I...if you want to put your life in jeopardy right after I got you back you are the stupidest..."

"Summer...please...."

"No, okay?" tears were welling in her eyes, and Ryan started the car."I love you just the way you are, you know that? Remembering anything won't make me love you more or less, Cohen..."

"I have to do this..." he said,"And I hate it when you cry..."

"Then stop being the one that makes me do it, Cohen..."she mumbled, "Let's go, Ry..."she said quietly, and he pulled out of the parking lot, Summer sobbing in the seat next to him.

'Then I'm leaving..."Seth yelled, and Summer stiffened as his words hit home.

"Summer...."Ryan said quietly.

"I don't want to talk about this..."she said quietly, grabbing tissues from the holder in his car and blowing her nose.

"We're going to have to..."

"No we aren't okay? He doesn't remember any of us, Ryan...."she said quietly,"End of story..."

"He's my brother, Summer, and he died seven years ago....you want to tell me how the hell he is dating you again?"

"Private Investigator...I have to go...."she got out of the car and he followed her up the driveway.

"You're hurting everyone else by doing this...you're being selfish..."

"I am not being selfish...it's what he wanted! He's the one that doesn't want to hurt any of you....he didn't remember me at all, Ryan...it's the hardest thing I've...."

"He doesn't know me either, okay?" he said angrily,"And yeah, it hurts..but his family deserves to know..."

"I'm going inside..."she turned towards him,"Just wait until next week, okay?"she added, no realising she was in Seth's band tee shirt and his boxers still, and walked in the house, walking quickly past Kirsten and Sandy, who were eating at the kitchen table with Tarryn.

"Mommy?"

"I...."she broke down, and slid down the wall, Kirsten helping her up.

"There's something I need to tell you..."she whispered in Kirsten's ear, and Kirsten glanced at her.

"Sweetie are you okay?"she questioned, and Summer sighed.

"Can we go upstairs...somewhere more private?"she questioned, adn Kirsten nodded, following her upstairs and into Seth's room, standing frozen at the doorway.

"I...."she grabbed Captain Oats off of his bed, and glanced at his room, which handn't changed all that much.

"Summer?" Kirsten asked.

"I'm wearing his clothes because I feel closer to him.."she remarked,"I've been doing it since that day....and I..."she leant against Kirsten.

"Are you alright?"she put a hand over her mouth, and ran to the bathroom, throwing up.

"Summer, what's going on...."

"I...God I don't even know how to say this...."she muttered, and Kirsten pulled the test out of her pocket.

"Rosa found this while she was cleaning.."

"Yeah..."she muttered, leaning back into Seth's bed. Seth was going back to New York, and Summer was alone. And pregnant again. And there was no way she would make Kirsten more stressed by telling her who the father was.

"I'll help you through this...."she promised,"We all will..."she added quietly.

"He left..."she said quietly,"We got in a fight...and he's gone...."

"You're still dating..."

"Was....dating...."she hiccupped, and looked down at her stomach. She couldn't give up this baby.

"You're keeping it,aren't you?"

"Yeah..."she said quietly,"I can't....I can't give it up..."she said soflty. She just wished she could tell Kirsten why.

"It's okay, Summer..."she said, and let her lean on her shoulder.

"Why is this happening...."she said, and Tarryn came in the room.

"Grandpa made pancakes...and Uncle Ryan needs to talk to you..."she added, and Summer put her head in her hands, sobbing.

"Then let him come upstairs..."she said quietly, and Ryan showed up at the door, glancing at the pregnancy test on the table, and Summer, who's eyes were bloodshot from crying.

"I went back...he was already gone.."he said, knowing that she understood.

"Ryan..."she started, and he hugged her.

"It's okay...."he promised, and kissed her forehead.

"Is there something here Im missing?"Kirsten asked, and Summer looked helplessly at Ryan before collapsing into sobs.

"She'll be okay in a while..."he said, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"Why did he make me promise not to tell!"she sobbed, and Kirsten looked on, confused.

"You should tell..."

"It's going to hurt them more...he basically just signed his own death sentence, Ryan...."she hiccuped,"They deserve to know...."

"Do you want me to do it?"she asked, and Summer nodded, curling up with one of Seth's pillows and staring at Captain Oats.

"Can you imagine what I'm getting myself into?"she asked the horse.

"Kirsten....a few months ago..."Summer glanced at her, and the look in her eyes.

"What, what is it?"she questioned, and Summer's eyes met Ryan.

"The baby...it's Seth's..."

"Seth is dead.."Kirsten said quietly, and Summer shook her head slowly, hugging the pillow to her.

"He....he has amnesia...and....he hired a private investigator...and the private investigator found me..."she said, taking over the story,"I met him at the ball...you shook his hand....and I didn't realise it was him until he took off the mask....I..."she was sobbing, and Kirsten's face turned white.

"What?"she whispered.

"I'm so ssorry..."she sobbed, Ryan rubbing her shoulders,"I didn't know what to do...and he was so damned stubborn..dead set on not telling you until he tried to get his memories back....This morning we got in a fight....and he left..I didn't get to tell him about the baby, or that I loved him...he's just...gone..."

"Gone to where?"Kirsten asked,"he's my son..."

"He has a lot of houses...I have no idea where he is..."Summer responded, and glanced at Ryan.

"Kirsten....you know what Sandy would do if he found out...if anyone else knew...you can't tell..."

"Okay.."she said quietly, and without looking at Summer, walked down the stairs, her face still pale.

"God..."she muttered, and Ryan hugged her tightly, letting her sob.

"You'll get through this, I promise...we'll find him..."she got up, and walked outside, getting in her car and turning it on, going straight to the cemetary.

"Cohen...."she said quietly, and leant against his gravestone, tears streaming down her face,"This is stupid I actually think you're listening..."she sobbed, and glanced at her stomach,"I'm pregnant...great news huh? Tarryn's gonna get a brother or sister..."she sighed, staring at the people over across the cemetary having a funeral,"Why did you do this to me? I loved you..and you took off, and I lost you....and I'm about to loose you again.....I can't do this without you....I don't know how I got by without you for the past seven years...."she took Captain Oats out of her purse, and set it by Seth's gravestone,"He misses you to, you know?"

"Summer..."he was still in his suit, and she glanced up, completely mesmorized by him. He still looked sixteen.

"Cohen...she said quietly, and reached out to hug him, and he stopped her.

"You can't..."he responded lightly, sitting down next to her on the grass.

"Are you real?"

"What do you think I am?"he responded softly, and Summer reached out for his hand, hers going straight through it.

"Thank you for telling my mom..."he said quietly, and she glanced at him,"She deserved to know...no matter what I said to you...."

"I know..."Summer said quietly,"And your welcome..."she added lightly.

"I love you..."he offered, and she nodded.

"God Cohen why did you leave?"

"I didn't think I could deal...."he said simply, and she glanced up.

"Did you ever realise what it would be like without you?"

"I thought you would realise that you didn't need me..."he "she reminded him, and he laughed.

"Anna always used to say that..."he said, and she glanced out at the ocean.

"I remember...the problem is that you don't..."she said shakily.

" Summer I wish I did...you have no idea...."

"I think I do...."she said quietly, and tried to rest her head on his shoulder, and stared up at him.

"I can be real when I want to be..."he said quietly.

"Can I kiss you?"she asked, grabbing his hands, and didn't wait for an answer.

She met his lips softly, and put her arms around his neck, leaning into him.

"It's twins, by the way...have you thought of the name Thor?"she hit him with Captain Oats, and he held his hands up.

"I don't think he appreciated that.." Seth commented.

"Twins?"she questioned.

"A boy and A girl..."he said, and she grinned.

"That's amazing..."she whispered.

"I have to go..." he said, standing up, nad she stood up with him.

"Cohen..."she started.

"I'll be seeing you....I promise...."he said, and kissed her forehead, walking behind the grave.

"I'll be seeing you...."she repeated quietly, nad got up, walking to her car.

"Are you okay?"she turned and looked at Kirsten, who was getting out of her car, flowers in her hand.

"I could be better,honestly...."she said, and hugged her.

"Ryan sent me to find you....he wasn't sure if you would be okay...."Kirsten explained, placing the roses on his grave carefully in the vase, and turned to Summer,"I'll meet you back at the house..."

"Okay..."Summer said softly, and walked towards her car with Kirsten in a comfortable silence.

And Seth stared at them from behind a tree,his heart breaking,and walked to his limo.

"Let's go...I have a plane to catch...."he said quietly, stepping into it and closing the door, hoping, for their sake, that he would be okay.

Phew, that took a while. gah. So anyways, read and review, and I love you guys!   
Jena


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